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Pushing the Pause Button

Self-monitoring works.

Well, folks, after yesterday's posting, my biofeedback mechanism kicked in and said "Whoa up there, you're going to head up that ol' hypomania road again if you go too far too fast with this!"

I have no doubt I'd be starting another lap around my infinity loop, and I have neither the strength nor the inclination for that right now, so I'm taking a day or three off. Please, though, read yesterday's blog; and I'm especially interested from an 'experimental' as well as feedback point of view, if reading it bottom-up:

a) made any sense at all
b) added to the perspective of only reading it top to bottom
c) created more confusion rather than less
d) whether or not you INCLUDED the three statements in the top box which appear every day on my blog page in your reading
d) other (whatever your reaction, comments, observations, feedback might be)

In the meantime I leave you with these two gems.


In light of my mentioning that I often assign 'value' to the shapes of letters as well as simply the context that words are used within, I ask you to consider the following

The letter 'y':

Evydense: Evidence :i am a dot

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference." The individual difference.


This is a snippet of dialogue taken from the 1989 movie "Dead Poet's Society", with Robin Williams as a newly-recruited, and unorthodox, poetry teacher. He has just taken his freshman class of private school English lads out into the school courtyard, and invited them to 'walk around':

No grades at stake, gentlemen. Just take
a stroll.

There it is.

I don't know, but I've been told--

I don't know, but I've been told--

Doing poetry is old--

Doing poetry is old--

Left, left, left-right-left. Left, left,
left-right-left. Left, halt!

Thank you, gentlemen. If you noticed,
everyone started off with their own
stride, their own pace. Mr. Pitts,
taking his time. He knew he'll get there
one day. Mr. Cameron, you could see him
thinking, "Is this right? It might be
right. It might be right. I know that.
Maybe not. I don't know." Mr.
Overstreet, driven by deeper force. Yes.
We know that.
All right. Now, I didn't bring them up
here to ridicule them. I brought them up
here to illustrate the point of
conformity: the difficulty in
maintaining your own beliefs in the face
of others. Now, those of you -- I see
the look in your eyes like, "I would've
walked differently." Well, ask
yourselves why you were clapping. Now,
we all have a great need for acceptance.
But you must trust that your beliefs are
unique, your own, even though others may
think them odd or unpopular, even though
the herd may go, "That's bad." Robert
Frost said, "Two roads diverged in a
wood and I, I took the one less traveled
by, and that has made all the
difference." Now, I want you to find
your own walk right now. Your own way of
striding, pacing. Any direction.
Anything you want. Whether it's proud,
whether it's silly, anything. Gentlemen,
the courtyard is yours.

You don't have to perform. Just make it
for yourself. Mr. Dalton? You be joining

Exercising the right not to walk.

Thank you, Mr. Dalton. You just
illustrated the point. Swim against the

And if you don't mind, one of the fellows who reads my blogs on a regular basis (Daddy Jarbucks) is undergoing some surgery this week, so send a warm fuzzy thought his way, huh? Thanks.

PEACE to you all, and TOLERANCE of individuality.
Whether personally, or as a political strategy, foregiveness works. Learning to "end the cycle of revenge" may be the only chance we have to heal the world.

....and to keep you soothed until I return, give a shot at this. It's about seven minutes long. Peep closely through the dot, and watch Beethoven's fingers move across the keyboard as he plays away at his piano. He is a dot. His music is a dot. May music be the back-dot to your life (Push "back" to return here, but that'll reset the "pause"' button up top!).

a) made any sense at all

In my view you're too hung up on what coincidence "means". Forget it, man! Just accept that the world works like that, and it's a beautiful thing.

b) added to the perspective of only reading it top to bottom

I couldn't finish yesterday's blog, forward, let alone backward, I'm sorry. Too long, too dense, and too fractal - elaborations of elaborations on elaborations.

c) created more confusion rather than less

More. Repetition of thoughts and ideas that resonate with you, the writer, does not equal clarity for me, the reader. Simpler is better.

d) whether or not you INCLUDED the three statements in the top box which appear every day on my blog page in your reading

Nope. "Banner blindness" - you ignore the stuff you've already read a dozen times.

d) other (whatever your reaction, comments, observations, feedback might be)

I like the openness of you sharing your process, but great writing tends to simplicity rather than complexity.

I think you're going through a stage of self-observation in which the mind IS the word IS the world for you.

Because your mind is really bright and fast, it has become your dominant feature. But it is not YOU.

Faith and discipline can allow you to view the anterior world with openness and to transcend the distracting buzz of your own thoughts. They are interesting and sometimes clever, but they are not what IS.

Keep up the effort; it's worth it, and it's appreciated. The peace you seek lies within you.

Thanks Dave, as always, for the feedback, although I don't think I agree with you. For instance, I get the impression that my 3 paragraph-or-so discussion on the word 'perspective' was, to you, simply overkill on a word game.

My point was that as I'm reading anything, that sort of thing happens to me constantly and simultaneously. That's why it's so difficult for me to 'get on the same plane' with the viewer/reader/listener.

When I was in the hospital, they'd come around and ask the innocuous question "on a scale of 1-10, how are you today?" I felt much better than the day before, so I answered "8", and they wrote down "still hypomanic". The next day, knowing how the system worked now, I answered "5", thinking I meant "stable", and they wrote down "slipping back into depression".

I guess that's kinda my point.

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  • I'm Evydense
  • From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
  • And I'm tired of living in the shadow of narrow-mindedness and ignorance. So here's the fax, Jack! "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred and sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." - Lynne Lavner*** I'm confused; curious; satisfied; realistically resigned to being a frustrated idealist; usually at peace with myself, but not always. Amazed at how little I know, and wondering how much I need to understand.
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