I've been blathering on and off for several years now to family, friends and generally anyone who would listen that, more and more, I'm noticing that I'll say or do something, and then in a spookily prescient way, usually within days, there will be some major reinforcement or reiteration of virtually the same thing. Far too often to just be random coincidence in my humble opinion.

Actually, that sense of 'being there already' was one of the observations that started to give me focus on the whole project I've been nattering about in the past blogs (including a whole bunch I have since deleted). But I get it. It scares other people who don't get it. Honestly, it totally scared me at first, too, until I got used to it, and now I see it as a very unique gift of sorts. But I know others don't see it that way, so that's why I'm not going to write about it much anymore.

You see, I had a new label attached to me about three years ago. My brain went all wacko on me for awhile. I try to explain it to others as a burst of words and ideas all happening simultaneously.....like a brilliant fireworks going off inside my brain, just made of words instead of colours. The beautiful thing, though, was that I was able to follow all of them with absolute clarity simultaneously. My mouth and my writing just couldn't keep up fast enough to get them all outside without people thinking I'd totally gone bonkers. And in fairness, from their point of view, I can understand why they'd think that. I most likely would too if I were on that side of me at the time. I was writing furious notes and babbling strange bits of wisdom, but since it was 'out-of-character', everybody figured I was nuts or something. Turns out I wasn't....I'm just bipolar, and was having a major manic attack. Now, with time and meds, I've learned to recognize the symptoms, and can do a fairly decent job of the biofeedback-control thing. It's still pretty awesome, though, to be in what's called a hypomanic state (kinda low-dose manic). Basically it's just a sense of very focussed clarity. Feels good.

So, when I decided today to give up trying to detail this theory I've got, just out of curiosity, I added 'bipolar' to my list of interests in my profile, then typed it in as a search word on the Blog search bar.

You've heard of that six degrees of Kevin bacon thing? I randomly picked a site from the hits that came up, then continued to pick random links from each site that sounded like fun, and here's what happened.

1) As a result of the search on 'bipolar', I first ended up at a site headed up "Wasted Days and Melted Brains Unite, a bipolar's way of dealing with life in the fast lane". A site filled with incredibly beautiful fractal images, leaving me with the impression he sees images like I see words.
2) From that site, I picked a link called "Bear's Blog".
3) From there, I linked to "Spit Noodle & Joey".
4) Top of the list link there was "A gag reflex".
5) which had a link called "writing for a change".

Hmmmmmmmmm..........I thought.

Now here's the freaky part. It took me to this address:

http://www.tolerance.org/teach/web/wfc/index.jsp

Check it out. Then read my previous couple of blog entries. Need I say more?

There's just gotta be some kind of force at work here.
May the force be with you, too!

PEACE, TOLERANCE. Just maybe. What if.......

Posted by Evydense on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 at 11:54 p.m. | Permalink