"Live by what you believe so fully that your life blossoms, or else purge the fear-and-guilt producing beliefs from your life. When people believe one thing and do something else, they are inviting misery. If you give yourself the name, play the game.” - anon

This will be short. I know now that I am just now starting to work my way out of one of the largest "mental storms" I've faced so far. I'm slowly making the climb "up" again. Recently, I have said too much here in my blog, I suppose inwardly seeking some supportive comment and reaction, but in doing so I hurt too many people.

My brain does not function "normally" anymore; it goes off on its own tangent sometimes. I know that! While I try my best at doing the biofeedback thing, I'm guessing that this particular over-the-top period for me was simply due to the fact that I was unable to handle so many things that seemed to me to be happening to me all at once. (That's self-blame, folks, check the 3rd quote up above. I just left out the "self-help" step.)

I believe I included this is one of my blogs a year or so ago, I don't remember. But I'm going to share it again nonetheless. I wrote it when I was at the "bottom" of my cycle, trying to explain to myself mostly, but to others as well, using non-conventional sentences but rather snippets of thoughts that were in my mind at the time, to convey what was going on "in there" .

your frame of reference

your journey's care.

Spinning.

.....Twisting.

..........Crumbles into chaos.

You're left alone

......with the shadows.

............and the fear.

Everything moves.

Nothing moves.

Up is down, green is brown.

The storm in mind

subsides.

Tranquil again.

Awaiting the next tsunami.

____________________________________________

Love and peace to all of you.

Rick

Posted by Evydense on Friday, February 08, 2008 at 9:53 a.m. | Permalink