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Hey Buddy

Since it has been my lot to find, at every parting of the road, the helping hand of comrade kind to help me with my heavy load, And since I have no gold to give and love alone must make amends, my humble prayer is, while I live -- God, make me worthy of my friends." - anon

I found the following on another blog, and thought it was pretty bang on, so I'm dedicating it to all of you, my new-found "blogging friends".

Hey Buddy


You there.
Mr. Silent. Mr. Nobody Sees You there in the corner.
Hiding. In your apartment. In your dorm room.
You wear a pleasant smile all day at work, or in class.
But it's eating you up inside, isn't it?
I know, buddy. I know all about it. I lived it for years.

You want something - and maybe you've been told all your life its wrong,
That you're not supposed to want that,
That you're sick,
That you're perverted.
And maybe you've had a few clues that they're wrong, maybe somewhere in a movie, or a TV show,
But there's still that nagging doubt, that evil thing sitting inside you, eating your soul.
I know, buddy. I know all about it. I lived it for years.

I know those cold nights, hugging your pillow.
I know those times when you just start crying and you don't even know why.
I know the terror of feeling you'll be alone the rest of your life.
But buddy, that's not it.
That's not all there is.

I used to feel like I was on one side of a huge canyon.
And on the other side I could see people.
They were happy, joyful. They belonged. They loved.
I wanted to be them, just like I always had.
But I didn't know how to get there.
I guess I was waiting for someone to hold their hand out and pull me across.
But nobody did.
I'd become so damn good at being invisible that they couldn't see me.
At least that way, I thought, no one's gonna hurt me either.

Is that you too, buddy? Mr. Invisible?
Buddy, that ain't living.

And then one day I was reading this book, and it said something that Indian boys used to be told by their fathers:
"As you go your way in life, you will come to a great chasm.
Jump.
It's not as wide as you think."
And I looked back across my chasm, with the people on the other side
And I knew I couldn't wait for them anymore.
I had to get there, and now.
So I jumped - and somewhere out there, a hand showed up and caught me.
And here I am now.
I'm happy, joyful. I love.
And I look back across and see that, indeed that jump wasn't very far at all.
The distance is a trick your mind plays on you to keep you safely where you are.
So, maybe you are Mr. Invisible, and maybe I can't see you from this side of the canyon.
But I know you're there.
The world makes progress, and peoples' attitudes towards us change,
But there's always gonna be another of you out there, buddy.
Do you see this, buddy?
It's my hand, held out across the canyon.
And his hand. And his, and his, and his.
Make that jump.
We'll catch you.

-by Dan Nash 2001



Oh RICK! That is such an awesome writing! You find such inspiring stuff! I hope you never feel alone again! :)

We all have that chasm to jump, some find it sooner, some find it later. Then some who never make that leap, and find something better. Luckily, a few helped me make that leap a while back.

Well I'm glad you jumped! It's a wonderful place with you here on the side we all hang out on! Um, but I could be a little biased :P

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  • I'm Evydense
  • From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
  • And I'm tired of living in the shadow of narrow-mindedness and ignorance. So here's the fax, Jack! "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred and sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." - Lynne Lavner*** I'm confused; curious; satisfied; realistically resigned to being a frustrated idealist; usually at peace with myself, but not always. Amazed at how little I know, and wondering how much I need to understand.
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