“What is most fascinating to me is the suggestion that meditation practice can change anyone's gray matter. The study participants were people with jobs and families. They just meditated on average 40 minutes each day, you don't have to be a monk." Jeremy Gray

"And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, / Being forty days tempted of the devil. And in those days he did eat nothing: and when they were ended, he afterward hungered!" - Biblical Quote

"On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park." - Curtis McDougall



Okay! Okay!

I'm sorry I haven't been creating more blogs.
I'm sorrry I haven't been leaving comments (or often not even visiting) your sites for awhile.
I'm sorry I haven't explained any of this sooner.

But you know what? I'm not really sorry at all...and I don't mean that in a put-down or mean-spirited way. It's just that it's not a significant thing to "be sorry" about something like that. It's not worth the emotional cost.

I think two things have helped me come to that conclusion. Giving up watching TV ENTIRELY last November....it hasn't been turned on since then, and I used to be a TV junkie without compare, often easily 6-8 hours a day or more. That showed me I was able to break old habits...and I didn't have to do things "this way" just because that's the way I've always done them, or even, that's the way they've always been done. That was, and is, a very significant lesson for me. I'm still in shock, if truth be told! It was SO, SO easy to do.

A couple links if you're interested:
TurnOffYourTv
TV Turnoff Week 2007: Adbusters.Org

The second thing is that, partly through our anonimity with each other, but mostly because of the "humanness" of all of you, I've felt more and more comfortable about my gayness, accepting it, living with it. I just hope I never flaunt it or wear it as a flag, because bottom line...it's NO DIFFERENT from everyone else....it's who I am, and is one of the zillion things that makes each and every one of us TOTALLY DIFFERENT from EVERYONE else. If I could just get that through my thick skull! When, just a year ago, I could hardly speak the word 'gay', now I'm starting to accept that even that is Okay for me.



I don't know, I'm just at a very weird, strange, sometimes unsettling, puzzling, confusing, sometimes frightening ("what am I going to do with the rest of my life" type stuff) stage of my life.



There is a bit of a maverick inside me...always has been, and I sometimes feel like taking him out for a a little test drive. Some things are more important (or more fun, or more productive, or more challenging, or more....(fill in the space) than others. I've obsessed over everything all my life and tried to hang on to everything, be a part of anything and everything whether I actually wanted to or not.

Or, perhaps it's just that mid-life crisis thing we're supposed to go through at some time or another.

Anyway, I've been doing a lot of reading, meditating, thinking, puzzling over, working on my record colllection...that kind of thing.....these past few weeks.



The one thing I AM sorry for is appearing to simply be ignoring you. That's just inconsiderate and rude.

I think I'll be taking a bit of a break from Blogland for awhile. I hope to back, and I hope relatively soon...but no promises.

If not, a message to all of "you regulars", as well as anyone else who stumbles across this site on your journey through cyberspace, Greetings, Thank You, PEACE.




"May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand." - Irish Blessing

Posted by Evydense on Saturday, July 21, 2007 at 3:30 p.m. | Permalink