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They're Worse Than Blackflies

So here I've been for the past several weeks mumbling and grumbling. I even have to admit I didn't even check in on "the group's blogs" on some days!.

Well, reason has been that, quite honestly, I'm not feeling very well...about my future. When I look at my expected future there certainly isn't a whole heck of a lot to look at..

C'mon...I mean, who wants to invite a single, gay,never-been-on-a-date, bipolar, Menieres-diseased, not-good-looking, virgin, guy on welfare to their Thursday Brunch, and then want to become a significant part of their life? So, I suspect I'll spend a significant amout of time on the Internet. I want to do a little more walking, perhaps reading from the couple thousand books I've got, or the same of my video collection, and things like that. But they're all boring time-fillers until my Big Day In The Sky shows up. What really gets to me is how little I know about computers and computing knowledge now. Not meaning this to sound like bragging or anything like that, but the simple fact is that when I was teaching I was always considered one of the best instructors on staff. Now, as an example of how confused I can sometimes get...and getting worse... this is the really big part of it all that scares me. This morning for about 15-20 seconds I had forgotten how to connect with Blogger so I could write this blog! Then when I went to enter my usernameme using my e-mail address, I coudn't remember if the typing of the actual address cotained the @ sybmol or not.

I think a lot of this flows from the change in computers and the lack of good reference manuals, and, I'll be honest, keeping up with the technology,...but that's exactly the part I have such difficulty with. I HATE on-line help!

Anyhow,I wanted to tell you a great story that happened to me last night,. Last night I noticed the Spybot icon sittng on my desktop. I forgot I had the program. So I ran it and came back saying I had over 11,000 bad bad things that shouldn't be there! So I ran it again to remove everthing, and I got a confirming note saying everything had been cleared up.

What frustrates me so much is knowing things like: "what actually are the erors or blogs or whatever.? "Where did they come from?" " Where are the causes inside your computer," "Is there any value to them?" "How do you get rid of them?" "Where do they go once deleted?" "Is there anything to look out for so it doesn't happen again?"....and the list could go on. Sounds like a pretty simple match, solving two problems with one solution.

However,I guess what I'm saying is that I'm overwhelmed with this incredibe mass of learning, not even knowing where to start (I'm primarily a linear thinker) and yet I have about as much time in a day as anyone, well, it just seems to me there's a pretty obvious answer. I still get the stomach butterflies when I know there's something wrong with the computer. Thank god for Go-Back!

It might be like taking a placebo instead of a real pill, but just using my computer "feels" better today.

This blog wandered all over the place today....sorry about that: I guess it represents,at least a ittle bit of how I'm feeling myself.

PEACE.



If I had a Thursday Brunch, you would definitely be invited, Evy! It would mean a bit of travel, but I make great omelets, so it'd be worth it. :) I hope you feel better soon...

Ok it is my turn to encourage you! Why not sign up for a class!! It would be a great way to learn about your computer, and meet people too! I know you don't like so well the public thing, but maybe you just need to get your feet out that door again and into a classroom (even if you are a student this time)
I have been feeling all over the place too. I think when the spring finally hits, it will get a little better! :)

Evy, I understand feeling down when looking to the future -- I feel the same way myself a lot of times. But life is always throwing us curve balls and the best thing ever could be just around the corner, so don't give up hope!

As for computers...don't even get me started. I am so computer illiterate, it's ridiculous. I have to ask all my online blog buds to help do everything.

I think the idea of taking a class is an excellent one. In fact, I may borrow that advice and take one myself one of these days.

Hang in there, feel better, and remember we're all here.

Dirk

EVY, I AGREE WITH BECK ON THIS ONE AND IF I WAS A GAY MALE AND WAS INTRODUCED TO YOU I TRULEY BELIEVE THAT I WOULD FIND YOU RIVVITING OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL THAT. YOU ARE FUNNY AND OH SO INTELLIGENT AND NO I`VE NEVER SEEN YOU BUT EVERYONE TENDS TO THINK THIER NOT SO HOT. BY THE WAY I THINK I HAVE THE SAME DISEASE. I`M GOING TO AN EAR SPECIALIST ON THE 27TH. I HAVE HAD CHRONIC OTITIS EXTERNA FOR YEARS AND HAVE BEEN EXPIERIENCING VERTIGO ALL DAY LONG EVERYDAY. I HAVE AN INFECTION IN MY EAR RIGHT NOW AND CAN`T HEAR WORTH A SHIT OUTA MY RIGHT EAR AND IT`S DRIVIN ME NUTS! OH YEAH AND THE VIRGIN PART, WELL I JUST THINK THATS HELLA COOL AND I BELIEVE THAT ANYONE WOULD THINK THE SAME...SHEESH WISH I WOULDA STAYED A VIRGIN TILL I FOUND THE RIGHT ONE! KEEP YER CHIN UP HON, I DO LOVE YOU.

Happy Valentines Day EVY!!! YOU ARE LOVED!!! :)

Ric, One day the right man for you is going to enter your life. He'll be glad that you're exactly who you are.

It's difficult to understand our lives, I think because we don't know what the future holds. But imho, you've got a LOT to give this world before heading up to the big sky.

I have 2 programs from pcdoctor, they're $40 total for both. I check every single day for crap on my computer. 1 is Registry Mechanic & the other is Spyware Doctor. I think they're well worth the money.

Oh, ps...the google/blogger change has made it so I have both a janelovestarzan & now a janelovestarzan@gmail.com. So maybe that has contributed to your confusion?

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  • I'm Evydense
  • From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
  • And I'm tired of living in the shadow of narrow-mindedness and ignorance. So here's the fax, Jack! "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred and sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." - Lynne Lavner*** I'm confused; curious; satisfied; realistically resigned to being a frustrated idealist; usually at peace with myself, but not always. Amazed at how little I know, and wondering how much I need to understand.
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