So here I've been for the past several weeks mumbling and grumbling. I even have to admit I didn't even check in on "the group's blogs" on some days!.

Well, reason has been that, quite honestly, I'm not feeling very well...about my future. When I look at my expected future there certainly isn't a whole heck of a lot to look at..

C'mon...I mean, who wants to invite a single, gay,never-been-on-a-date, bipolar, Menieres-diseased, not-good-looking, virgin, guy on welfare to their Thursday Brunch, and then want to become a significant part of their life? So, I suspect I'll spend a significant amout of time on the Internet. I want to do a little more walking, perhaps reading from the couple thousand books I've got, or the same of my video collection, and things like that. But they're all boring time-fillers until my Big Day In The Sky shows up. What really gets to me is how little I know about computers and computing knowledge now. Not meaning this to sound like bragging or anything like that, but the simple fact is that when I was teaching I was always considered one of the best instructors on staff. Now, as an example of how confused I can sometimes get...and getting worse... this is the really big part of it all that scares me. This morning for about 15-20 seconds I had forgotten how to connect with Blogger so I could write this blog! Then when I went to enter my usernameme using my e-mail address, I coudn't remember if the typing of the actual address cotained the @ sybmol or not.

I think a lot of this flows from the change in computers and the lack of good reference manuals, and, I'll be honest, keeping up with the technology,...but that's exactly the part I have such difficulty with. I HATE on-line help!

Anyhow,I wanted to tell you a great story that happened to me last night,. Last night I noticed the Spybot icon sittng on my desktop. I forgot I had the program. So I ran it and came back saying I had over 11,000 bad bad things that shouldn't be there! So I ran it again to remove everthing, and I got a confirming note saying everything had been cleared up.

What frustrates me so much is knowing things like: "what actually are the erors or blogs or whatever.? "Where did they come from?" " Where are the causes inside your computer," "Is there any value to them?" "How do you get rid of them?" "Where do they go once deleted?" "Is there anything to look out for so it doesn't happen again?"....and the list could go on. Sounds like a pretty simple match, solving two problems with one solution.

However,I guess what I'm saying is that I'm overwhelmed with this incredibe mass of learning, not even knowing where to start (I'm primarily a linear thinker) and yet I have about as much time in a day as anyone, well, it just seems to me there's a pretty obvious answer. I still get the stomach butterflies when I know there's something wrong with the computer. Thank god for Go-Back!

It might be like taking a placebo instead of a real pill, but just using my computer "feels" better today.

This blog wandered all over the place today....sorry about that: I guess it represents,at least a ittle bit of how I'm feeling myself.

PEACE.

Posted by Evydense on Saturday, February 10, 2007 at 3:17 a.m. | Permalink