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Seven Steps Of Forgiving

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.” - Hannah Arendt

"Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” - William Arthur Ward

Without forgiveness, there's no future” - Desmond Tutu

1. Select a bitter sorrow, a serious grievance against someone, or a punishing charge against yourself, and review it in complete detail.

2. Hold in your mind the image of whatever is to be forgiven --- yourself, another person, a past event --- and say, " I release you from the grip of my sadness, disapproval or condemnation." Concentrate quietly on this intention.

3. Imagine for awhile what your life will be like without the sorrow or grievance that has been haunting you.

4. Make amends with someone who has hurt you, tell a friend about your self-forgiveness, or otherwise link your inner work to your relationships.

5. Ask for God's help to overcome fear or resistance at any step. If you do not believe in God, ask for help from all nature, humanity, and the mysteries of your own mind. These are the channels through which aid is sent --- and aid is always sent.

6. Have patience. Forgiveness includes healing which follows its own order and timing. Whether you think you have accomplished anything thus far is less important than the fact that you have attempted a radical act calling forth change beyond your imagining. Go about your daily business, but stay alert to unexpected shifts in your thinking, feelings and relationships.

7. Repeat steps 1 through 6 as often as necessary, for life.

----- taken from the book titled "A Little Book Of Forgiveness" by D. Patrick Miller.

In my last blog entry, I had mentioned that I was going through a bit of a rough time. A day or two ago, I received a beautiful e-mail from one of you, simply offering support, care and love. It touched me beyond words. Last night I picked up this little book that the above quote is taken from, and realized that the forgiveness I have to do is to forgive myself. Up until now, mostly I've "blamed" --- health, family, others, work, whatever --- but I don't think I've ever really much "blamed" myself.

It won't be an overnight transformation, obviously. There will be setbacks, obviously. But it's more than coincidence that these two writings came into my life so closely together.

So, thank you all for your support, and one person especially. You know who you are ;)


Number 11: Listen to Weird Al. Everything's cool after Weird Al.

I don't think you have to place blame on yourself Evy.. sometimes things take hold of us, and it is so hard to use the bad stuff to learn and grow. Just remember that you are a wonderful, kind, loving, and loved person. :)

I believe that moving beyond blame and owning up to responsibility may be the single most freeing step you can take as a person.

Once you do this, you have shifted your issues fully into the sphere of your own influence. That is so powerful! As long as someone else is to blame, there's nothing you can do about it... as soon as you are responsible, you can change everything.

Blaming oneself may be a potential pitfall, but since blame always refers to the past, keeping your attention on the present will allow your intention to flow into the future.

Pick up your lance, Don Quixote. Your noble purpose calls!

Damn! I posted a reply to your comments but, like everything with my computer nowadays, it didn't show up (yup----I'm blaming the computer!). It's probably floating around in cyber-space somewhere and will show up eventually. When I tried to respond yesterday, I got an error code and a message to report it to the Blogger Help Group, which I did.

Technology is so fascinating, if it weren't so simultaneously frustrating!

Anyway, thanks for your feedback, and hopefully there will be a more detaile response showing sometime.

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  • I'm Evydense
  • From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
  • And I'm tired of living in the shadow of narrow-mindedness and ignorance. So here's the fax, Jack! "The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred and sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." - Lynne Lavner*** I'm confused; curious; satisfied; realistically resigned to being a frustrated idealist; usually at peace with myself, but not always. Amazed at how little I know, and wondering how much I need to understand.
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